Muse

You can give of your time (volunteering) and your money (to nonprofits and those in need).

And you can give...forgiveness.

Forgiving is perhaps one of the hardest human tasks. If forgiving were as simple as just deciding to do it, our world would be a much different place.

 Forgiveness is not an act of mind. It is a blessing that arises from your heart. 

When you can't forgive, it's because you make forgiveness a conditional act. "I will forgive if..." or, "I will forgive when...".

Forgiveness is a gift. To yourself, to the person or people who hurt you, and to the world. 

Forgiving also is a process–it's about becoming a forgiving person.

Yes, it's complicated. Believe me. I've sat with clients who spent years bitterly chewing on their resentment. Holding on to anger and resentment only perpetuates more suffering.

I hear this over and over: "I want to forgive, I really do, I just can't seem to let go!" 

By continually focusing on the person who caused you pain, you're only going to get stuck in a state of resentment. 

Rather than focusing on others, or "trying" to let go, find the willingness to align yourself with the energy of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness, like anger or sadness, has its own unique energetic quality. When you choose to infuse your heart, mind, and body with this powerfully healing energy, you will become more forgiving.

Here's a short practice that will enable the energy of forgiveness to begin to take root:

Spend a few minutes in silence. Sit, breathe, relax.

Bring your awareness to your heart center (the center of your chest) and notice any sensations.

Using your intention, draw the energy of forgiveness into your heart center. Breathe. Allow. Absorb. Let the energy of forgiveness build.

Then imagine sending this energy from your heart center up to your head, down your spine, your arms and hands, through your torso, and down your legs into the arches of your feet. Use your breath to move the energy through your body. Really let it flow. 

When you feel complete, gently rest in your body. Notice any awareness you may have. And commit to coming back to this practice tomorrow.

As your alignment with the energy of forgiveness becomes more familiar and habitual, you just may notice yourself becoming more forgiving! 

Find your willingness to be open to healing. Practice. Be patient. And remember, this is a gift that really does keep on giving!

Happy Solstice!

Be Well,

Rebecca

Loving your demons requires calling back the shadow aspects of yourself–shame, guilt, rage, grief and feelings of unworthiness–to become integrated and take residence in your heart.

Self-love, acceptance and total forgiveness allow this integration to take place. 

We try to avoid our demons by pushing them away, using defense mechanisms like denial, compartmentalization, repression or dissociation (separating your body experience from your mind or emotions.)

For many, there comes a time when fending off the unbearable stops working. 

As Carl Jung wrote, "what you resist, persists." Unintegrated painful experience can echo through your life as sleep disturbance, anxiety, depression or other problems.

Making a conscious choice to face your demons takes the courage to explore and feel what you have been avoiding. 

When you invite your demons to show themselves–through therapy, meditation, or other practices–you begin the process of integrating the unbearable into conscious awareness. 

Learning to accept and love everything about yourself is at the heart of your transformational journey.

Here are some suggestions for learning to love your demons:

1. Make a conscious choice to open your eyes, ears, and heart to what lies deep within. Get interested in all aspects of your experience.
2. Work with practices that help you develop steady, loving self-observation. Tell your judgement it's time to retire.
3. Self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care should be at the core of your practice.
4. Compassion and forgiveness allow your heart to fully integrate all of who you are. You may find a specific practice helpful, such as this forgiveness meditation by Jack Kornfield.

Facing and loving the shadow aspects of yourself will be a difficult, but rewarding, journey. You will discover things about yourself you never knew and come to love yourself in ways you never thought possible.

You will eventually find a heartfelt stillness inside that will hold you steady no matter what is going on. 

The ability to be fully, calmly present with what is, frees you from suffering.

When it is time, be willing to let go of what no longer works, and nourish your heart and soul with gentleness, kindness, and compassion. 

Love your demons, transform your life!

Be Well,

Rebecca

"Pickard Brook" photo image by Jennifer Hopkins ( http://jenhopkins.com/about/artwork-2/ ) with a Creative Commons license.