Survivor Guilt
In my healing practice this week, survivor guilt was one of the prevailing themes.
Here in the upper Connecticult River valley, we are still digging out from the devastating effects of Hurricane Irene (and will be for a long time). Because we are such a small community, everyone knows someone whose home, farm, business–or in many cases all three–were badly damaged or destroyed.
The crazy twist to this storm is that many of us survived with little more than a heavy rain, while our neighbors just a dozen miles away lost everything.
It's been hard to feel grateful for escaping storm damage when so many people are suffering.
Many people I know are feeling guilty about their good fortune–especially those who struggle with guilt issues already.
While none of my clients this past week experienced personal loss, almost everyone was feeling overwhelmed by a complex mixture of guilt, grief, and helplessness.
Some people will also absorb the emotional energy that is "in the air" as part of the fallout of a storm like Irene.
Often, an unconscious agreement/contract/tradeoff is made: since I can't do anything to help my community I will carry some of the emotional burden myself.
Carrying the energy of others is never helpful. It is exhausting, and keeps you from being your best.
So how, as an unscathed survivor, do you cope with feelings that seem frivolous by contrast to what others are coping with?
When disaster strikes, how can you be most effective? How can you maintain your own stamina so you are available to help?
Here are some suggestions to help you stay as present and available as possible–to yourself, to your family, and to your community–when disaster happens:
As they say on the airplane, put on your oxygen mask first–before helping someone else with theirs.
- Get grounded (See Getting Grounded, Staying Grounded, and Tend To Your Roots, Reach for the Sky Muse posts for more information about grounding and the important functions of the root chakra).
- Guilt is a sure way to drain you, paradoxically leaving you with even less energy to help those in need. Guilt also undermines your ability to make skillful, objective decisions. When guilt is present, it is generally a sign that some old issues are being triggered. Look at why you feel guilty and find a practice to let it go.
- Validate your feelings. Judging how you feel only makes matters worse.
- Use your support system! When things are tough we need even more love and nurturance than ever.
- Find some techniques to help you clear your energy field. A good energy healer who practices energy hygiene can help you with this. (For information on training in energy hygiene check out the Energy Healing Institute.)
If you can stay grounded, balanced and supported by your people, you will be in a much better position to go out and help those in need without getting emotionally overwhelmed.
Given the changes in global climate, we likely will be seeing more destructive weather events like Irene. Some of us will be ok, others of us won't. We are in this together, and how you take care of yourself has an impact on everyone around you.
We need you to be your best!
Be Well,
Rebecca
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