Muse

You can give of your time (volunteering) and your money (to nonprofits and those in need).

And you can give...forgiveness.

Forgiving is perhaps one of the hardest human tasks. If forgiving were as simple as just deciding to do it, our world would be a much different place.

 Forgiveness is not an act of mind. It is a blessing that arises from your heart. 

When you can't forgive, it's because you make forgiveness a conditional act. "I will forgive if..." or, "I will forgive when...".

Forgiveness is a gift. To yourself, to the person or people who hurt you, and to the world. 

Forgiving also is a process–it's about becoming a forgiving person.

Yes, it's complicated. Believe me. I've sat with clients who spent years bitterly chewing on their resentment. Holding on to anger and resentment only perpetuates more suffering.

I hear this over and over: "I want to forgive, I really do, I just can't seem to let go!" 

By continually focusing on the person who caused you pain, you're only going to get stuck in a state of resentment. 

Rather than focusing on others, or "trying" to let go, find the willingness to align yourself with the energy of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness, like anger or sadness, has its own unique energetic quality. When you choose to infuse your heart, mind, and body with this powerfully healing energy, you will become more forgiving.

Here's a short practice that will enable the energy of forgiveness to begin to take root:

Spend a few minutes in silence. Sit, breathe, relax.

Bring your awareness to your heart center (the center of your chest) and notice any sensations.

Using your intention, draw the energy of forgiveness into your heart center. Breathe. Allow. Absorb. Let the energy of forgiveness build.

Then imagine sending this energy from your heart center up to your head, down your spine, your arms and hands, through your torso, and down your legs into the arches of your feet. Use your breath to move the energy through your body. Really let it flow. 

When you feel complete, gently rest in your body. Notice any awareness you may have. And commit to coming back to this practice tomorrow.

As your alignment with the energy of forgiveness becomes more familiar and habitual, you just may notice yourself becoming more forgiving! 

Find your willingness to be open to healing. Practice. Be patient. And remember, this is a gift that really does keep on giving!

Happy Solstice!

Be Well,

Rebecca

In my healing practice this week, survivor guilt was one of the prevailing themes.

Here in the upper Connecticult River valley, we are still digging out from the devastating effects of Hurricane Irene (and will be for a long time). Because we are such a small community, everyone knows someone whose home, farm, business–or in many cases all three–were badly damaged or destroyed. 

The crazy twist to this storm is that many of us survived with little more than a heavy rain, while our neighbors just a dozen miles away lost everything.

It's been hard to feel grateful for escaping storm damage when so many people are suffering.

Many people I know are feeling guilty about their good fortune–especially those who struggle with guilt issues already. 

While none of my clients this past week experienced personal loss, almost everyone was feeling overwhelmed by a complex mixture of guilt, grief, and helplessness. 

Some people will also absorb the emotional energy that is "in the air" as part of the fallout of a storm like Irene.

Often, an unconscious agreement/contract/tradeoff is made: since I can't do anything to help my community I will carry some of the emotional burden myself.

Carrying the energy of others is never helpful. It is exhausting, and keeps you from being your best.

So how, as an unscathed survivor, do you cope with feelings that seem frivolous by contrast to what others are coping with?

When disaster strikes, how can you be most effective? How can you maintain your own stamina so you are available to help?  

Here are some suggestions to help you stay as present and available as possible–to yourself, to your family, and to your community–when disaster happens:

As they say on the airplane, put on your oxygen mask first–before helping someone else with theirs.

1. Get grounded (See Getting Grounded, Staying Grounded, and Tend To Your Roots, Reach for the Sky Muse posts for more information about grounding and the important functions of the root chakra). 
2. Guilt is a sure way to drain you, paradoxically leaving you with even less energy to help those in need. Guilt also undermines your ability to make skillful, objective decisions. When guilt is present, it is generally a sign that some old issues are being triggered. Look at why you feel guilty and find a practice to let it go.
3. Validate your feelings. Judging how you feel only makes matters worse.
4. Use your support system! When things are tough we need even more love and nurturance than ever. 
5. Find some techniques to help you clear your energy field. A good energy healer who practices energy hygiene can help you with this. (For information on training in energy hygiene check out the Energy Healing Institute.)

If you can stay grounded, balanced and supported by your people, you will be in a much better position to go out and help those in need without getting emotionally overwhelmed.

Given the changes in global climate, we likely will be seeing more destructive weather events like Irene. Some of us will be ok, others of us won't. We are in this together, and how you take care of yourself has an impact on everyone around you.

We need you to be your best!

Be Well,

Rebecca

Loving your demons requires calling back the shadow aspects of yourself–shame, guilt, rage, grief and feelings of unworthiness–to become integrated and take residence in your heart.

Self-love, acceptance and total forgiveness allow this integration to take place. 

We try to avoid our demons by pushing them away, using defense mechanisms like denial, compartmentalization, repression or dissociation (separating your body experience from your mind or emotions.)

For many, there comes a time when fending off the unbearable stops working. 

As Carl Jung wrote, "what you resist, persists." Unintegrated painful experience can echo through your life as sleep disturbance, anxiety, depression or other problems.

Making a conscious choice to face your demons takes the courage to explore and feel what you have been avoiding. 

When you invite your demons to show themselves–through therapy, meditation, or other practices–you begin the process of integrating the unbearable into conscious awareness. 

Learning to accept and love everything about yourself is at the heart of your transformational journey.

Here are some suggestions for learning to love your demons:

1. Make a conscious choice to open your eyes, ears, and heart to what lies deep within. Get interested in all aspects of your experience.
2. Work with practices that help you develop steady, loving self-observation. Tell your judgement it's time to retire.
3. Self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care should be at the core of your practice.
4. Compassion and forgiveness allow your heart to fully integrate all of who you are. You may find a specific practice helpful, such as this forgiveness meditation by Jack Kornfield.

Facing and loving the shadow aspects of yourself will be a difficult, but rewarding, journey. You will discover things about yourself you never knew and come to love yourself in ways you never thought possible.

You will eventually find a heartfelt stillness inside that will hold you steady no matter what is going on. 

The ability to be fully, calmly present with what is, frees you from suffering.

When it is time, be willing to let go of what no longer works, and nourish your heart and soul with gentleness, kindness, and compassion. 

Love your demons, transform your life!

Be Well,

Rebecca

"Pickard Brook" photo image by Jennifer Hopkins ( http://jenhopkins.com/about/artwork-2/ ) with a Creative Commons license.

If you are considering adding energy healing to your spiritual practice, you will be faced with some choices. Energy healing–and energy healers–come in many forms.

First, it's important to ask a few questions:  What is energy healing? How will it help you? How do you choose the right healer?  

Energy healing is the therapeutic process of using either a hands-on or hands-off technique to transmit healing energy to a client.

Generally speaking, the intention of energy healing is to balance and clear the chakras and the electromagnetic field of negative, stuck energies.

Energy healing tends to have a new-age air of mysteriousness surrounding it. In fact, energy healing can be practiced in a very grounded, skillful, and systematic way that is based on concrete principles of energy transmission. 

Healing energy contains an intelligence that reaches far beyond the limitations of language and cognition.

Effective energy healing helps you become more attuned to the wisdom and guidance of your soul. Energy healing that is practiced by a skilled healer can bring you into alignment with your soul's journey by helping to release unbalancing energies in your body and energy field. 

As you become more energetically grounded, balanced, and aligned, you will see yourself more clearly and with greater perspective.

By drawing forth the essence of your karmic wounds, energy healing can help you shift core psychological, emotional and spiritual issues. 

Energy healing comes in many forms. Each person will resonate differently to the healer, how s/he practices, and the type of energy that is being transmitted.  

Here are some suggestions for choosing an energy healer who works well for you. 

1. The healer should work in alignment with your soul. This creates healing that is gentle, respectful, and in sync with what you need and are ready for at the time.
2. The healer should help you stay grounded and in your body before, during and after the healing session.
3. If the healer does not have training in counseling, s/he should be able to refer you to a good therapist when you need additional support.
4. Finally, the healer should practice good energy hygiene. To learn more about energy hygiene, I recommend the Energy Healing Institute as a resource.

Energy healing can be an effective and powerful tool for supporting you on your healing journey. Empower yourself as you go through the process of choosing a healer so you get the kind of healing you need. 

And, as always, be gentle, show yourself love and compassion, and listen carefully to your inner voice.

Be Well,

Rebecca

"Blossoming Tree" photo image by Jennifer Hopkins ( http://jenhopkins.com/about/artwork-2/ ) with a Creative Commons license.